AhLian's Jokes

I was browsing on one of the blog I am follwing when I come accross this blog - http://rojaks.blogspot.com

This guy is real funny, & I copied the below joke from his blog.

How did the Ahlian try to kill the bird?... she throw it off of the top of her HDB flat.

How did the Ahlian die drinking milk? ... the cow stepped on her.

Why does a Ahlian only change her baby's diapers once a week? ... the instructions there got say "good for up to 10 kilos".

Why do Ahlians have see-through lunch box cover? ... so they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.

Why do Ahlians like lightning? ... they think someone is taking their picture.

Why do Ahlians have more fun? ... they are easier to be amused.

What do you call a Ahlian in a tree with a brief case? ... branch manager.

What do you call a smart Ahlian? ... a golden retriever.

What do you see when you look into a Ahlian's eyes? ... the back of her head.

How many Ahlians does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? ... 10!!! ...one Ahlian will mix the dough and 9 Ahlians will peel the shell off the M & M's.

Why did the Ahlian keep a coat hanger in her back seat? ... in case she accidently locks the keys in her car.

Why did the Ahlian tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? ... so she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Why did the Ahlian get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? ... because she felt so smart coz the box said from 2-4 years.

What did the Ahlian say when she looked into a box of Cheerois? ... oh look, donut seeds.

Why was the Ahlian very sad when she got her driver's license? ... because the driving instructor give her an "F" for sex!

What is it called when an Ahlian blows in another Ahlians ear? ... data transfer.

What's the difference between a Ahlian and a lightbulb? .... the lightbulb is smarter, but the Ahlian is eaiser to turn on.

What do UFO's and smart Ahlians have in common? ... you keep hearing about them, but never see any.

What do you get when you cross a Ahlian and a lawyer? ... I don't know, there are some things even a Ahlian won't do.

What's six inches long, has a bald head, and drives Ahlians crazy? ... a one hundred dollar amadika money!

How do you confuse a Ahlian? ...No nid ... They're born that way.

What does a Ahlian make best for dinner? ... reservations.

What do you call a skeleton in the closet with Ahlian hair ... last years hide and seek party winner.

What do you call a Ahlian behind a steering wheel? ... an air bag.

What do you call 20 Ahlians standing ear to ear? ... a wind tunnel.

What is five miles long and has an IQ of forty? ... an Ahlian parade.

Question to the Ahlian...why do you have an ice pack on your chest? ...to keep the milk fresh.

How to you keep a Ahlian busy all day? ... put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

How do you drown a Ahlian? ... put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Why do Ahlians hate M & M's? ... they're to hard to peel.

How do you keep a Ahlian busy? ... write "please turn over" on both sides of a piece of A4 paper.

Why did the Ahlian stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? ... she wanted to see what she looked like when she was sleeping.

How many Ahlians does it take to play hide and seek? ... one.

Why couldn't the Ahlian write the number eleven? ... she didn't know which 1 came first.

How do you make a Ahlian laugh on Monday? ... tell her a joke on Friday.

Why do Ahlians have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes? ... it stands for "toes go in first".

How many Ahlians does it take to change a tire? ... 5!! 2 to get sodas, 2 to cry and 1 to call daddy.

What do Ahlians and beer bottles have in common? ... they're both empty from the neck up.

What's the advantage of being married to a Ahlian? ... you can park in handicapped zones.

What's the mating call of a Ahlian? ... I think I'm drunk.

How does a Ahlian turn on the lights after sex? ... opens the car door.

Why did the Ahlian have square boobs? ... bcoz she forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

What is the Ahlian doing when she hold her hands over her ears? ... trying to hold on to a thought.

Why did the Ahlian stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? ... because it said "concentrate".

Why do Ahlians work seven days a week? ... so you don't have to retrain them on Monday.


Why do Ahbengs like Ahlians jokes? ... it is one jokes they can understand.


Why is Ahlian jokes so short? ... so Ahbengs can remember them!

Happy Mooncake Festival

22 Sep, 2010

We are celebrating mooncake festival today. Nothing special again this year. We are having sitdown dinner @ East Ocean Restaurant this year with 2nd Uncle & Auntie.

We will adjourned to yum-char session with the gang later on at our regular place - Oldtown Kopitian @ Jln Gopeng.

Last year, we did not celebrate this day as the festival fell on 03 Oct, 2009. And we were attending my friend's wedding dinner.

Guess this festival is getting less and less important as we grow. We still work on this day, and we will only be back home slight earlier for sitdown dinner with family. For those who is working away from home, mostly will celebrate this in the earlier weekends.

No lanterns, no mooncakes...

counting . . .

In 2 weeks time, I will be entering to the 30 years old zone.

Suddenly, it seems that there's a lot of puzzle appearing before me. What are these?

1) What had I accomplished in 30 years of my life?

2) If I will to live upto 60 years old, I had gone through half of my life journey, what had I got so far?

3) If I will now need to outline all my plans on my 30's onwards, what I want to do/ achieve?

My mission for the coming 2 weeks will be to list down my 30's to-do list...

What would basically fall in this list.. ^o^

what I did on this Raya break?

Hari Raya fall on 10 & 11 Sep this year, with replacement off on 9 Sep 2010. We had a 4 days break in a row.. What had I done?

09 Sep :
- TVB Series Marathon
- Playing with little Ashton
- Hitting the gym, and
- Yum-char at McD with ES, Alex & SW

10 Sep :
- Slaving at the stall
- Watched Resident Evil : Afterlife, my very first Resident Evil movie,but it kidda sux

11 Sep :
- Korean series marathon
- Go to sis' house to play with little Ashlee, she's such a little monster, and she learn real fast these days
- Dinner with AL, Mandy, and Pak Yee and later
- Mamak-ing with ES, SW & Alex

12 Sep :
- Taiwanese series marathon
- Slaving at the stall,
- Dinner at sis' house, and
- Grocery shopping at Tesco with family, sis & Ashlee of course...

That's what I did for the past 4 days, absolutely nothing but eat, sleep & boiling series... Bliss!!
How I wish the break was longer, and I can totally forget about W.O.R.K.

Lately..

Success :
- I joined a gym class, and vowed to exercise min 2x weekly.
- Leave the office before 8pm.

Failure :
- Lack to motivation to work.
- Easily pissed of by some old-pain-in-ass.